29 Mar Wear The Robe of Honour
I WORRY THESE days about honour. It’s a missing key ingredient in our homes.
By honour, I mean, integrity, respect and character.
It is what holds the balance of life together where honour defines many boundaries. I worry that our children; their generation do not understand or give a second thought about honour. We the parents who are meant to model either don’t have any regard for it, or don’t understand its impact on life present and to come. Let me elucidate.
Honour is not given room in our homes. We’ve stripped ourselves of the robe of honour. We’ve relegated it to the past and given it an inconsequential role in the present and future.
I must confess that I’m not necessarily bringing up my children in the very ‘traditional’ way, but I watch out for and insist on respect and honour given to others. How did we get to the stage where our children look at us with disdain? How did these children get to the stage where they have absolutely no regard for adults around them? They walk past you, almost mow you down and no word of greeting or apology. They speak to you as they please, all in the name of freedom of expression and the jet age. You work your butt off trying to get them a good education, a comfortable life and a bright future and they repay you with contempt because they sometimes see you as an icon of irrelevance.
Something is horribly wrong!
I had a discussion with a friend lately and she said that though we shift a whole lot of blame to our parents for our upbringing and the many current issues in society we attribute to bad parental choices yet the sort of life we’re creating for our children today will make our parents’ blunders look like child’s play. I agree! As a youngster, I was made to respect elders irrespective. It was a given to respect my elders, as it were.
But today, the issue of respect and honour is so minor we gloss over it. We believe that once they’re intelligent academically and are high achievers then their character is not important. Today we have children killing parents for being parents because they got fed up being nagged at or something equally ridiculous. It’s sad! I get peeved when a child disrespects me or shows total disregard as if my existence means nothing. Whatever happened to ‘Honor your Father and your Mother? Mind you, it doesn’t just speak to one’s biological parents.
Our children are no longer looking up to us for mentorship anymore. They’ve got Hollywood and the other ‘hoods’ to thank for that. They wish to grow up and be like the semi-nude singers on television.
We fail to help them blink away the dazzling stars dancing around their dreamy heads. They don’t know about the private struggles of these ‘stars’ and the many demons they fight; addictions and things that drive them to suicide. Instead, we buy them clothes like their idols, endorse everything they do to be like their idols and chalk it down to letting them be themselves. Then we wonder why they are delinquents and deficient in character.
Values are no longer valuable.
I’m not saying the old system is foolproof and must be adhered to. I’m not saying there are no ‘modern’ ways we can bring up our children, but let us not gloss over the issue of honour. Some kids these days have no regard for honour. Some have chips on their shoulder because of wealthy parents or famous parents. Here’s something I find interesting in the scriptures:
Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honour. Prov 29:23
I had a recent experience with two young ladies that left me exhausted. I personally treat young people with respect primarily to show them an example and also because I believe respect begets respect. I speak with them almost like equals and never as though they have no brains. But these two young ladies put all my resolve to shame. Honour opens up opportunities for people. Whatever door talent opens, only honour can keep it open.
We are to blame to a large extent. We don’t teach good manners and we don’t place importance on honour. We let our children talk to us anyhow forgetting that’s how they’ll talk to everyone else. Yes, there’s latitude for them to self-express. But not permitted to be disrespectful.
We have a lot of work to do regarding this generation of children we’re bringing up. I’m always on the lookout for parents whose children are well behaved. I’m often eager to learn what their secrets are. Of the few people I’ve been privileged to both observe and discuss with, I’ve discovered a few things they do consistently that works.
1. They pray for their children daily.
2. They spend quality time with them and
3. They get fully involved in their lives both at home and in school.
Somewhere along the line, the parents are able to monitor their children closely without stifling their growth and also model good behavior. These people don’t leave their children’s upbringing to chance. Neither do they leave them completely at the mercy of domestics. That family time, the bonding is so important and very vital in the formation of a child’s character, especially in the early years.
Children who are often neglected tend to be disruptive and can be destructive. They crave love and attention, which actually helps them to grow into well-balanced individuals.
Can we see the upbringing of our children our responsibility? Can we help our children to appreciate honour and respect? Can we help our children grow up to be responsible adults and citizens? That the bane of the society, the backbone of the society rests entirely on the family is one hundred percent true. Fix the family and you FIX THE NATION.
Can we please wear this robe of honour again?